Last night I ran my butt off. Well as fast as these bloody stumps would take me at least. And by the end of the night I was hobbling around like the broken elf I am. Coming to the harsh realization that even with all the time off I had last week my feet have not healed enough…well…I now share your fears that I’m doing damage. After admitting that to myself I had to swallow a lot of pride and my ego and in the end forfeit the fight. I went to HR to see if there was any way without their doctors form I could switch jobs. A solid – NO. The HR Manager did suggest as a final last-ditch effort that I contact my doctor ‘back home’ to have them fill out the form for me. I haven’t regularly seen a doctor in many many years but I do have a couple of docs I can call tomorrow just to see. I’m not holding my breath though. If not I’ll be ending my short-lived career with Amazon tomorrow.
Thanks for sticking it out with me.
I think the emotional fight has been just as hard as the physical pain. I’ve never really taken to being told ‘NO’. Chris and my parents can attest to the understatement of that first hand… But when it’s my own body telling me NO when my head and heart are screaming YES…that’s a different beast all together. I want to work at Amazon. I want to be a picker. But I simply cannot. This is the first time that I have been denied something I really want because of my weight. I have yo-yo dieted so many times… The last time I was so close to goal too… But alas I find myself right back where I started. It pisses me off!! It makes me sad… I wish at this point I could say that it gives me the determination to fight the good fight and end this reign of obesity once and for all. But I can’t. I’m not sure I can lose the weight…I’ve tried so many times in so many ways… Nothing seems to work in real life after the ‘diet’.
Regardless…I’ll be fine. I’ll settle back into the housewife role that I love dearly until the next job is ready for us!! I know Chris won’t mind a little home cookin and not having to spend time at the laundry!!
With much Love