In recovering I can’t help but notice all the little things that I cannot do. Things that I’ve never really thought of as a big deal, normal everyday stuff that I’d never before given a second thought to…second nature…
I never realized how far back the bathroom mirror is from the edge of the sink or how many times a day I’d lean over the counter to look into that far away mirror. Try putting eye makeup on without leaning over the sink!! Impossible!! Don’t even think about plucking eyebrows or checking your teeth or God forbid if you have contacts…
The whole world, or at least everything I seem to be needing these days, all live in the bottom cubbard, cabinet or drawer. We’re out of toilet paper, lives under the sink. I need a pot to boil water, lives in the back of the bottom cabinet. The garbage can needs a new bag, lives under the kitchen sink. The kids need more food, lives in the bottom of the pantry.
Or how about the heavy things…everything now weighs a ton!! I never had an issue with carrying two cases of soda in each hand while bringing in the groceries. Or heaving them up on top of the fridge for storage. Now…they must weigh 100 pounds each and lifting them over my head is inconceivable. Don’t worry I didn’t try… But the same principle applies. Can I change the litter box – NO. Can I open the garage door to get the car in or out – NO. Can I put a new case of soda in the fridge – NO. Can I take the garbage out – NO.
I finally had the umph to get to shaving my legs and pits. Boy was Chris thrilled about that…geez…what’s a weeks worth of growth after going on 18 years together?? But seriously that was an exhausting ordeal. Thank heavens we have that little bench seat thing in our shower to put my foot on…if it weren’t for that bad boy I never would have made it. Even with it I was sore everywhere. It’s a long way down to your ankles sometimes!!
Feeling like I can’t do anything…having to ask Chris to do everything (or so it feels like) for me…hurting after the simplest tasks…being so tired all the time…not being able to get out and go… I never thought of myself as an independent woman but by golly I’m tired of being taken care of!! I want to do for myself!! But as I try to move around a little more and do a few little things here and there I’m met time after time with these obstacles, either the restrictions the doc has put on me, Chris telling me NO or my body telling me OH HELL NO!!!
So with each task or obstacle I remind myself of how many times I’ve done them before and never realized how lucky, how blessed I was to be able to do those little pesky everyday tasks without pain, without worry and with seamless ease. So with every bend, twist and toe touch I’ve done in the past I’m grateful for the ability. I’m grateful that my ability to do them again is returning a little more each day. And I’m grateful that soon, hopefully very soon, I’ll grab something out of the bottom drawer and realize what a huge feat it was to do so without pain.
Count your blessings my friends. Be grateful for even the smallest of small things because where would you be without em??
With Much Love