How is it possible to be so content with life just the way it is yet want something completely different in the same breath??
Since we left full-time RVing I’ve had moments, not so much when we landed but they’re creeping up more lately, where I dream about the freedom and adventure of the open road. I was madly in love with the simplicity and freedom. The ability to go…do…see…explore…wander…meet new people…just be… Now I wonder if we can make it out there again before retirement age. Is it just a dream? Am I squandering a gift? Is it a case of the grass is always greener? Should I just count my blessings and settle on content?? Am I asking for the impossible??
I just don’t know…
I subscribed to a lot of blogs of fellow travelers while we were ‘out there’. They offered countless tips, advice and most of all support for other full-time travelers. A family of fellow gypsies if you will. Most of which I still haven’t had the opportunity to meet but hold onto hope that we will one day. But I have to confess that I haven’t been able to follow them since we landed here…I just can’t…the jealousy and longing for the old lifestyle is too much. I just can’t read about someone’s adventure that I want to be on but can’t anymore. I miss my friends, some of which didn’t even know I hung on their every word and felt like we were the bestest of friends… Don’t get me wrong. We have lots of new friends here!! The bestest of friends. We love our Twinks dearly and I’d miss them terribly if we ever did leave. Our Mini family is the best and we’re enjoying the characters of New Orleans immensely!
I don’t know what I’m getting at…what I’m trying to say… I just can’t help but wonder what if?? Is it possible?? How?? Should we?? Should I just give up thinking about it and settle completely into our new normal life?? Take some vacations like normal couples do and be satisfied. Maybe I just want too much… Probably.
But what if we could?? What if?? How would we support ourselves?? Where would we find a rig?? A working rig!!
Am I crazy?? Just out of my mind, off my rocker, send me to the loony bin – CRAZY??
Aren’t all dreams a little crazy though?? Wanting to go to the moon was crazy at first and now look what we can do!! Do we have what it takes to start this adventure all over again?? With a solid rig and a solid plan… Should we even try?? Maybe we used up our one shot…
I don’t know but I can’t help but wonder about the What Ifs… What if I could have hacked it at Amazon…would we still be out on the road?? What if Snowball didn’t suck nearly as badly as she did…if we had chosen a different RV would we still be full-timing?? What if we had hung on a little longer and saved a little more money before driving off into the sunset…would we be on an adventure today??
We’ll never have answers to those What Ifs though. Those were deal breakers…almost dooming us before we ever began without us even knowing it. But the wealth of knowledge we have now = priceless.
So… The new What Ifs emerge. What if we try again? What would we do different to avoid those major pitfalls?? Could we?? Should we??
I know I have so many more questions than answers right now. I thought writing it out to you might help me…give me some direction…maybe even figure out what I really want. But all I have are more questions… It’s a huge fork in the road, a huge decision with huge consequences/rewards. Life changing.
With Much Love